Thoughts and Adventures of a Theatre Kid

Earlier today I was scrolling through Facebook, just casually looking through all of the different posts and things people were saying, much of it having to do with our current president, when a thought occurred to me.  This is what came into my mind:  God still loves Trump. This is a hard truth to face given our current circumstances- I know I struggle with it!  It's sad how we have to remind ourselves of this given how much hate is currently circulating.  But it doesn't excuse, even for a moment, what he's done, or might do, to our fellow humans.  A small part of me decided that I don't actually hate Trump- I think I actually feel sorry for him, kind of like what Harry Potter felt for Voldemort because Voldemort could never know love. We talk about loving Trump's hate, but do we really?  We accuse others of not being "good Christians" while we ourselves are not.  We're hypocrites if we match hate for hate.  No one said loving your neighbor w...

"It's not called being a nerd, it's called personal therapy." I'm going to be honest, this last week has left me feeling a storm of emotions, many of them really confusing and distressing.  I've felt frustrated on more than a few occasions.  And not all of it has been related to political and world happenings.  I haven't been sure how to work through it and sort each emotion out.  I think I've never felt so strongly than I feel now and it kinda scares me because I don't exactly know what to do with it.  All I can currently do is call it a storm. I tried to have a conversation with a family member this week about the happenings in the world but all I got was resistance.  And I don't know why.  All I know is I felt extremely frustrated with them and sad that we couldn't have a nice discussion about current news.  When I mentioned participating in the Woman's March on Denver I got the sense they didn't approve and that really hurt....

My roommate Becca is flapping her blanket because she claims it looks like lettuce.  I participated in the Woman's March in Denver.  Went on an adventure to Walmart late last night.  Almost died riding back in an Uber on the way back from Walmart.  It's been a good weekend. But really. Yesterday was an experience of a lifetime- I can proudly say I was one of millions of people around the world who marched in response to the recent events for what I believe is right.  I marched because I love my neighbor, because I am a person, because I and others matter, for all those who are oppressed or who are marginalized, and for love.  It was truly an awe-inspiring sight yesterday to witness so many (around 200,000!) people participate in this march to make their voice heard.  The millions made their voices heard peacefully- no riots in any part of the world.  I felt honored to be part of such a historic event.  This is how we make a difference. ...

This last week was an interesting one.  I did quite a bit of self-reflection and thinking about...well, a lot.  Even a week back there are still aspects of Christmas break I'm still trying to process and give voice to. I've come to the conclusion, as of today, that I still struggle with being free to be myself.  It still feels at times like there's someone watching over my shoulder just waiting to judge me or watch me mess up or reject me.  However, that feeling has been getting less and less of a thing as I spend more and more time here in Denver.  I'm learning just what it is to be Caitlin and what I believe, how I see the world and interact with it, what my own thoughts and opinions are, and my personality and quirks.  It's almost as if I'm becoming more me each day, if that makes any sense. This last week has had me asking all sorts of questions and also giving myself permission to doubt or have thoughts/feelings that may or may not be the best but ...

As of yesterday afternoon I have returned to Denver- though that's been accompanied by many thoughts and feelings and confusing things.  It's good to be back, despite feeling a bit jumbled and lost.  I've moved to a new place and have housemates!  Now I don't have to live by myself- at least for right now, and I'm super excited about it.  And work starts tomorrow.  Blah, I dislike starting up again on a Monday because it makes the week seem so long. I have a fair amount of processing to do from my two week trip back to the Midwest for Christmas and New Years.  Last night I was out with a group of friends for supper and I was at a bit of a loss as to what to say about my visit- I had just flown in that afternoon and was feeling almost like I was dreaming.  This morning at church they had a "stones of remembrance" thing where some members of the community told stories of how they'd seen God at work.  As I was sitting there listening to their stori...

Happy New Year!! So, I'll be honest- I wasn't sure what to write this time around up until the last few hours or so.  All I know is I want to keep writing these blog posts once a week and, oh snap- today's the day!  This week's inspiration comes from my own thoughts and feelings from this past week but also from something I listened to this evening, which I think is pretty powerful.  You'll have to read to the end to find out. I've felt a wide range of emotions this last week.  First up has been anger and frustration with my brother.  I love him, but when he constantly ignores any sort of communication I try to have with him, or when he does see fit to respond, it's always "I'm busy".  Last weekend, for Christmas Eve and Christmas, he wasn't at all social except for when certain cousins were involved- that's when he talked!  And it didn't feel good either- if felt very exclusionary.  It also hurts because when I texted him a w...